yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
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