well you can't waste a boner
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
