I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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