Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Randomize
