Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
It's never too late to be topless.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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