just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
