Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
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