I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Randomize