im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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