well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
