Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
