i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Need sex. Gaining weight.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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