Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(504): View more from Louisiana

She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.

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(973): View more from New Jersey

$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.

(1-973): View more from New Jersey

math is fun

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.

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(315): View more from New York

i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake

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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

they paper machayed me.

(215): View more from Pennsylvania

i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.

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(604): View more from British Columbia

I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now

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(615): View more from Tennessee

Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?

(423): View more from Tennessee

I was emotionally compromised.

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea

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(630): View more from Illinois

youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...

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