Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Randomize
