; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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