I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
