Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
