im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
