covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
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