all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
