You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
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