I wish I could teleport
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
