The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
