careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
