Soap is not a condiment
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
