Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
