ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
