Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
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