I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
