He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
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