she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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