he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
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