It's Friday. Sex?
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Randomize
