remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
You need a sexual gate keeper
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
