I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
