Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Randomize
