so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
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