you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
