i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Randomize
