dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
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