...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
