I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize