i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
