We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
My pussy is not your playground.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
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