last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize