why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
i think im in europe. pls send help
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
