we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Randomize
