Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
