so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
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