was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Randomize
