not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
smell my finger.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
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