I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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