you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Randomize
