What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
