i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
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