Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
