We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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