Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize