Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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