it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Randomize
