Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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