I will die if light touches me.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Let's get the cat blown out
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
try to milk me bitch
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